The day following Misha’s euthanization he was picked up for cremation.
I decided to get an urn to have him at my side. I chose a wooden sleeping cat design.

2 day later I was asked by the animal welfare activist woman if I’d be willing to take in another cat – just for care not to keep as they needed a place for a cat somewhere. I told her it would be too early for me and Berlioz and I wouldn’t know when I’d be ready.
I told her off again another time in the adoptions group on Facebook as I honestly believe: Berlioz doesn’t need another cat around. He didn’t do anything stupid since Misha is gone 😮

I received Misha’s urn on 22nd of December, 2018. I started crying immediately again before I placed it in a nice spot across his favorite sleeping spot.

I reflected alot since then what I could or should have been doing better to avoid Misha’s death but I still can’t get my mind to a source of what might have caused the virus mutate. It might have been stress caused by me or Berlioz or both, uneasyness due to Berlioz’ jealousy and food attachment, a second virus infection (if he had a first one before) due to Berlioz’ diarrhea or just really something else as I wasn’t around often and suddenly for 2 weeks when I was sick and then leaving again working full hours 5 days/week… or just something happening while I wasn’t at home (back then I had a really noisy neighbor who kept on playing music, screaming and partying at whatever time he liked until he was kicked out). I don’t know. And I will never know. I just feel sad about this little one being gone.

Meanwhile Berlioz started to actually get calmer. Much calmer.
He stopped begging for food as hard as he did before, he only occassionally tries to jump on the table when I prepare his food and he eats slower. He got more attached, clawed less into random clothes I wear and started to like cuddles.
But something was off, he wasn’t using his left paw at times when walking.
I let my vet check it twice in 4 weeks. He got antibiotics as his shoulder was warm and she thought it might be an inflammation.
He got the meds, everything was fine. He was off the meds, it returned.
After he ate a trash bin string on 23rd of December, I took him to the vet clinic on 28th of December after he develpoed a fever. They x-rayed his belly and shoulder (as I asked them due to the previous circumstances) and did an ultrasound – which he didn’t like at all. I was holding down his front paws and head when they screened him and he just tried to get out of the position screaming. I felt so bad for holding him down but we needed to know if any traces of the string remained. Nothing found. Thank god. But also nothing on the shoulder.
As the leg situation wasnt solved, they gave me an appointment for the day their bone specialist would return from holiday on 2nd of January, 2019.

Friends were visiting me at New Year’s and Berlioz was allowed to stay with me in the living room (while the bedroom door was closed as they were sleeping there) and took a liking to sleep next to my knees.
I let him be with me at night although he wasn’t allowed to do so before,so he wouldn’t need to be scared of the fireworks sounds. He was really curious about them, but wasn’t scared at all.
But he got anxious around 12:30AM on 1st of January, 2019… maybe it was too much going on for him.

I took him to the vet clinic on 2nd of January and another 2 x-rays later I finally knew what was going on. Berlioz developed elbow dysplasia due to high-energetic food. The vet told me most dydplasia aren’t genetic but food-related, so if I change his diet, his health would improve.
We talked through what he get to eat and he advised to drop all Vitamine D and stomach powder he still received and instead feed additional clam powder specifically for joints. His condition should improve in 4-6 weeks then.
I got that powder at a pet store and started immediately putting this into his food next to his usual vitamines and taurin (which should be put in there when feeding raw meat) and he got better within 2 weeks already.

The vet visits and checkups  including meds between October and January totalled to a 1600 Euro bill. Misha’s cremation was 400 Euro. Alot of money for two little buggers, but I do think it was worth it, although about 1-2 visits regarding Berlioz could’ve been avoided if I’d been paying attention to him more. But that won’t happen anymore as all things around being a reason for him to chew on are removed immediately. He needs to learn, I do too. Symbiosis is everything 🙂

He started to change fur since then. He got more white-grey hairs starting at his throat, ears and shoulders, while the hair growing back on his belly after the ultrasound appeared to be brown.
While being on Youtube I found a relatively new cat race that somehow fits his description – both in appearance and behavior: the Nebelung.
He might be that or not, I still love him. But I will keep an eye on this change 😀

As I was on holidays now twice, he was left alone at home for a few days (first time: 3 nights, second time: 7 nights). A cat sitter took care of him and sent me pictures via whatsapp. He was well-behaving (although when I returned toys were ripped, so I’m not sure if he did that after she left on the last day or if she didn’t see it as they were hidden in his favorite place *lol*) and quite attached for a few days after I returned, not leaving my side at all times (which is annoying if you get up when he’s deeply asleep and suddenly jumps up as being stung). But he gets back to his own self soon enough.

Since New Year’s he’s allowed in my bedroom (before erasing all tempting things as he eats up anything big enough to be chewed on) and stays with me at night – mostly, not the whole time.
He’s usually starting to annoy me at about 10:30PM every day: sitting in the hallway directly in front of the living room looking at me (and randomly falling asleep while doing so), then jumping around like crazy or lieing in a corner of the sofa in resignation. That’s his way of telling me: “Go to bed”.
He then guards me to the bathroom and waits in the kitchen while I move from bathroom to bedroom. He lies down somewhere until 1-1:30AM and then lies next to me.
He took a liking to lay next to my face on the pillow, so I got a second pillow in my bed now (I use the one that’s not occupied ofcourse…I mean seriously moving the cat got me some meowing)
Since it got a lot warmer outside and in the apartment he doesn’t like to be too close for too long right now, but he’s taking up the cutest behaviors now. I woke up one morning a few days ago with my arm feeling heavy, I opened my eyes and saw my kitten’s head on my hand, his paws on my forearm. When he recognized I was looking at him, he started purring and rubbing his head against my hand. ❤

I made a Facebook page and an Instagram account for his pictures as the amount is bursting my private account *lol*

All pictures below were taken since January up to now: